Update:

Just because i told you i'm thankful to have you in my life doesn't mean i have to Cherish you and stay with you forever. I'M NOT YOUR WIFE, WE'RE NOT MARRIED. i'm not gonna always be there for you anymore and it's your decision to push the right buttons. I can't really say much but i am grateful to have you around me because we are so close, so comfortable, so capable of knowing that we'll never do anything to hurt one another. But for a reality check i'm not going to use that we're so close and it's not gonna be the same excuse just to stay together (do you get it?). If i leave i'm done, if i come back to you we already know it's not gonna be the same. So just keep in mind that you will always have a peice of my heart because i did learn alot from you and you have been there with me through everything. Knowing my family inside and out it's really hard to say that we'll be seperated. I know things aren't going as well as we wish it could be but just give it time when we do have our own time and freedom. Because i hope no matter what happens between us we'll be great friends/business partners, nothing weird just because we did date and all that stuff. I know you're thinking why i'm no negative, AM I? i don't think so; i'm just basically saying what i honestly feel. We've been together for so long and now we're surrounded with USANA which makes us even more closer and it's just too much close. We need to spend time with others and not with each other any more, we enjoy each other's company 24/7 but it's too much. i'm really llost and confuse, i know we're in the point of breaking loose and why're you holding on so tight when i fire back at you like crazy? I hate how you think you know me, if i wanted to do something i'd sure as hell do it, don't make me. I'm a grown ass girl to make my own decisions and don't repeat yourself. if i want it i'll get it simple as that. You think just because i don't listen to you i'm stubborn? Nah even. I know who i am and what i want. you obviously don't know me well enough.. this is sad to say. but i honestly just feel like letting loose and not giving a crap about what we do with each other. At times if we don't talk then we don't talk, i have no problem with that. If we start to fade outta the blues then i guess thas how it's gonna be. i'm not letting go yet but i'm just gonna let loose. Let's wait and see, because i do miss the first 6months of our relationship.


Mmm to begin my weekend friday was alright. Nothing much that was excited beside seeing my bestfriends at school. Chilled with Aldrin, Albert, Monida, Chavila, Neeko(?) yadadda. I'm glad i talked to Albert. sheeesh! everything offa my shoulders (: Saterday training is the best =) of course i don't want to even start because i just don't wanna ruin it.

My mom is really bothering me alot. i think she's going crazy, i don't know why she won't let me do USANA but i am making more than her shoot. Residual is what it's all about. I don't get why she is getting mad when she has many businesses too and when i have usana business she doesn't accept this at all. I really hate how when i'm at home so much negativity just comes to me but i'll never accept it. I'm not gonna go to the restaurant just to sit around and watch the restuarant. if you thought about it when can you step away from the business and not worry about someone taking your money? One day i just WISH my one and only WISH is for my mom&dad to see me and my organization on a saterday training rolling up @ Hayes Mansion with a Range Rover or Slk 55 AMG. Just give me time and for sure i know i'll make it to the top. I really felt good today until i received that phone call from my mom and honestly i wanna run away and not just stay home any more. It's honestly really stupid to me how i do all this for my family, my parents, for me! she obviously doesnt understand that it's just like school 8-3. wooow. thats so crazy omg! whatever i'm so sick and tired of all this drama in the house hold. i already know my parents are not where i wanna be so why follow them right? why not follow someone that is successful and has already made it up there. My mindset is changed and i just wish i have my parents supporting me, thats all i really want! is it too hard to ask? Stop the yelling and stop putting a front that we're so wealthy!

Anyways as much as this is bothering me i'm always going to think positive. stop the fussin' and crying rose, it's not tears of being scared it's tears from the heart.